Where have the courage gone?

I NEED OXYGEN!! I thought, gasping frantically for air. This evening, what was suppose to be a routine stroll for me, very.. very.. nearly turn into my last walk. I almost suffocated.
Love is in the air - how true, walking down Orchard Road was a real challenge.

Anyway, inside me I am struggling whether to blog about a particular incident that happened in school. I am undecided. So what if I tell everyone about it? Will I feel better? No. But my heart wants me to share this little story of mine.

3 weeks ago, a girl seated "next" to me approached me for help about the lecture. (She wasn't exactly next to me, she was at the leftest of the centre column while I am on the rightest of the left column, we were separated by a narrow walkway.) She, like me, is alone and have no friends in that class. Yes, she is pretty and I am quite attracted to her. And therefore, the following week I sat at the same spot to wait for her of course! But she never turn up. Well, there was no lesson last thursday since it was a public holiday, so when I went for lesson this morning, I NEVER expect to see her again, much less for her to remember an insignificant acquaintance.

I was not harbouring much hope which is why I sat slightly away from 'the usual spot'. And halfway through the lesson when it was break-time, I got a pleasant surprise, I spotted her! Still as mesmerising! (Ya, I know what you are thinking) She is sitted all the way to the back. Then she walked pass me; to the front to collect some notes, that were given out during the week that she wasn't here. On her way back to her seat, she greeted me. And I was like 'OMG SHE REMEMBERS ME!!!!' Okay, she then borrowed some notes from me and proceeded back to her seat. Then, I went to the washroom, and when I return, I used the back door so that I get to walk past her.

I heard her say "我没有生你的气啦", to which the guy beside her replies "那你又不给我你的号码!" My heart sank. My mind starts having a sudden influx of thoughts, and is pretty occupied by them. I don't remember much of the things that happen after that. I was very confuse during that time and I can only remember I sent a couple of nonsensical smses to Junqiu.

When the lesson ended, I left the class even without taking my notes back. (wtf?) Like I messaged Desmond earlier, I have missed the best chance in 23 years to know a girl.

Ashley once said I am a mix of Leo and Virgo, and slightly more towards Virgo. I was flipping through an astrology book this afternoon and indeed I find myself pretty similar to the traits of a Leo and Virgo except I am missing 2 important qualities. Bravery 0 Work Rate 0. Why have I never been in any relationships before? Because I am a complete hum. Why do I keep failing exams? Because I am too lazy to study for any!