动摇 decision

HMmmmm... what should I write about? I have so many things I want to blog yet there are so many constraints; i.e cannot write too long else nobody will read; the time factor of course! It's fucking 220am now.

After 4 mins of serious consideration, I think I wanna blog about my horrid encounter with Mr G. I have told many people about this incident, but I haven't really blog about it. Before I start, I want to clarify that I am no gay. At 23 and never been in a relationship before, it is easy for friends around me to start suspecting I am gay. And I gotta admit I did had doubts about my "orientation" as well. That was then. Now, if anybody can get me Ayumi and I will flirt with her, pak tor with her, make her my gf, marry her & we will live happily ever after. :)

I vaguely remember this incident happened a few months back. It was a nice weekday afternoon, I made - probably the worst decision of my life - to shit! And which better toilet to go than a nice, quiet, cosy, hidden from the crowd toilet at citylink? Btw, the toilet is right at the end of citylink; just before the Suntec City exit. There was 2 cubicles in the toilet. When I went in, 1 was already occupied.

While I was doing my "business", I can see the prada sandals of the guy in the next cubicle. He stretched his leg and some part of his toes were even already into my side of the cubicle. But at that moment, I didn't think too much about it. Nobody would assume another guy is gay because that guy's toes had trespassed into another cubicle, right?

He wriggle his toes repeatedly until I began to suspect he had purposely stretch his toes into my cubicle. I took my time in the toilet, hoping that when he leaves the toilet, I am still not done. But after quite a while, it was getting obvious he is waiting for me! I bade for my chance to escape.

I heard the sound of running tap, I quickly put on my pants, flush the toilet, and come out in double quick time. That guy followed. I washed my hands and immediately tried to shake off that guygay. But he followed me and tried to chat me up. He was stalking me as I tried to make my way to Suntec City. While at the foot of the bridge escalator, I saw a group of students at the top. I run up the flight of steps on the escalator and stick closely behind the students. I didn't dare to turn my head around but I think he gave up his pursuit here.

When I reach Suntec and am finally sure he had not followed this far, I was in a state of fright. I was thinking should I hail a cab home? If I do, where should I hail the cab? What if I run into him while I am waiting for a cab? What do I do should I run into him again? Are these guys gays? Why is this guy in blue looking at me? How about that uncle? The group of boys walking together, are they gay as well? I was traumatised.

Those thoughts lingered for the next few days. When I was on train, I paid extra attention to any pair of eyes that had look in my direction. I became extra observant with how guys behave. It was a shit feeling. I felt so helpless and useless.

Before I end this post, I would like to comment on the recent campaign for legalising of gayism. Maybe I am shallow or maybe I am being too negative or maybe I am just timid, but if we are really fighting for gay rights, we should consider if we can really accept it in the first place. Talk is cheap. Everybody wants to sound liberal and fight for gay rights, but do you have any personal experience? And do you think you would still be for gay rights when you have an encounter with a gay? You might not be pestered and stalked like I was; it could be anything. It could even be just a meal, that is enough to 动摇 your decision.